LJ Idol - Week 1 - Open Topic

[thephantomq]

 

They’re kicking you out. 

They’re kicking you out. 

You stare at the letter, tears in your eyes as Eric, Ellen, and Edward stand around you. You can’t defend yourself; you know that multiple bad decisions put you here, in this situation. 

“Can I have a year?” you try to negotiate. The date April 15th stands out starkly on the page; it’s only a few months away. Hardly enough time to get a job and find a place and move out. 

Ellen shakes her head. “We’ve already given you a year – remember our conversation in April?” 

The conversation that didn’t outright state you would be kicked out onto the street, if you didn’t pay what you could? The conversation that simply was we need you to try to pay what you can, because money is getting tight for your mother-in-law? Sure, you can read between the lines now, but it was never clear back then – if it had been, you would have moved differently. 

It’s not even been a year since that conversation. It’s January, days before your birthday. 

Happy birthday to me, I’m getting evicted, crosses your mind, and you shush whoever it was internally. Now is not the time. 

There’s a familiar tightness in your chest. Words climb into your throat, but remain there. There’s no way out of this. There’s no arguing with them. They’ve made up their mind, and they’re here, intervention-style, to tell you, politely, to leave. 

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” you whisper, voice shaking. Everything’s shaking, honestly. With rage or fear, you don’t know. You’re going to be homeless. You’re going to be homeless because the in-laws have decided you’re just too much for them, anymore. 

It hurts. You trusted them to be here for you – and this is them doing everything but being there for you. You trusted them with your disorder; you trusted them to support you and your kid for over a decade; you trusted them. 

The knife twists when Ellen suggests that you go to in-patient. Nevermind that you were just in in-patient, and that you would not be helped there. “You do drugs, Alex,” she says at one point, and you just – 

Weed is harmless, for most people. You just happen to not be most people, as weed can trigger psychosis for you. Something you didn’t know about yourself until you consistently used it for a total of six days. Something you learned very recently, less than a month ago. 

You don’t say any of that. To her, weed isn’t harmless. To her, it’s dangerous. And you’re not going to be able to argue your way around that. 

You want to say you fought to stay – but no, you knew that you had no choice but to accept this. They’re kicking you out, and they have their reasons. They’re kicking you out, and you feel betrayed. 

They’re kicking you out, and in some way, you know, it’ll set you free.

Comments

[chasing_silver]

Poignant. I can feel the desperation, and the hopelessness.

[thephantomq]

Thank you. <3 There was a lot of desperation and hopelessness, this year. Thankfully things are better now, but ugh. What a way to start the year.

[simplyn2deep]

This one hurt to read because the second-person perspective puts you right inside that moment of panic. The repetition of “They’re kicking you out” works so well because it feels like the narrator’s brain is stuck on that one terrifying fact while everything else, the deadline, the conversations, the explanations, is happening around them.

What really got me was the ending, though: feeling betrayed and terrified while also recognizing that, somehow, this might lead to freedom. That’s such a complicated combination of emotions, and knowing from your comment that things are better now makes that last line hit differently. I’m really glad you’re able to look back at such a difficult beginning to the year from a better place now.

[thephantomq]

Second person is my favorite to write in for real world stuff because it puts you right inside the moment. So I'm glad that the panic really bled through the words. <3

The ending did exactly what I wanted it to do, then. and I'm glad it worked that way. I was a little worried that little shred of hope would feel misplaced.

And yeah, we're at least safely housed, now. There's still so much more we need to do but that's one thing we don't need to worry about, anymore.

[drippedonpaper]

I'm so glad to know you've found a place to stay. Hugs to you!

[pixiebelle]

I truly felt the hopelessness while reading. As someone who has almost been homeless, it’s terrifying. You captured it all really well.

[thephantomq]

It IS terrifying. It's the absolute worst feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm glad I captured the feeling well; this was one of those entries that took a couple of attempts to get right.

[imafarmgirl]

I can feel the growing stress in this.

[thephantomq]

<3 thanks. i'm glad the stress came through!

[penpusher]

I got a very clear vibe of Pandora's Box with this piece... there is hope yet in the mess of things happening and you do well to suggest that things will come right!

[thephantomq]

Yes! There is hope but man is it buried under a bunch of other shit.

Thanks ❤️

[muchtooarrogant]

There's so much raw emotion here, and your main character's desperation is very convincing.

Dan

[thephantomq]

❤️ thanks. I would hope it's convincing, considering I lived this moment!

[bsgsix]

Anything written from the second person POV immediately grabs me (I often enjoy nonfic writing of my own in this style; I've written entries about psych ward visits that begin with "you" instead of "I," which sets the tone and gives it atmosphere). I read every word. While I am so deeply sorry that this IS true, it sat in my chest, heavy, a stone - something that resonated in that realistic conversation. Being homeless within the home hurts. Feeling betrayed by loved ones feels like a crime. There is such a good build of tension, of desperation, of PAIN... I felt it deep within the core of me.

Your work truly resonates. I hope you are safe and free now, as much as anyone can be. <3

[thephantomq]

Thanks ❤️ We are safe, now, but it took us a little while to get here.

I love second person, too. It really helps me get to the emotions of a moment a lot easier. So I'm glad this resonated.

[xyla]

This was so beautifully written, I could feel all of the emotions and it made me tear up.

[thephantomq]

Thank you! I'm honored that it made you tear up ❤️

[adoptedwriter]

Oh wow! Love the 2nd person perspective. The stress building up is perfect. What a scary thing to anticipate.

[thephantomq]

It was the worst and I don't wish this on anyone. And thanks, I struggled with this piece a bit and I'm glad I got it to work the way I wanted it to. :)

[humanbeansradio]

This was a gut punch. Well done.

[thephantomq]

Thank you!

[bleodswean]

Whoa. This is so intense. I'm sorry.

[thephantomq]

<3 It was, and it messed me up for most of 2026. We're safely housed, now, but back in January? Well, it felt impossible. I'm glad I seem to have nailed the intensity.

[gardeningatnight]

Cannabinoid induced psychosis is VERY real, and increasingly prevalent. I've got a friend who is a hospitalist who has talked with me about it. (Also cannabinoid induced emesis... ) It doesn't really get talked about much in broader society, though... I am sorry it happened to you, and resulted in such fallout.

[thephantomq]

It really doesn't get talked about much and experiencing it personally was definitely... interesting. Scary in hindsight, but my delusions were mostly positive (lmao) so it wasn't scary in the moment. The fallout from it though? Yeah... The fallout was scarier. I'm at least safely housed, now, so there's that. But ugh. I didn't need to start the year this way.

[inchoatewords]

I really felt this in my chest as I was reading. I'm so sorry that this was a real life experience for you and I hope that you are in a better/safe place now.

[thephantomq]

<3 we are in a better / safer place, now, at least.

Thank you for reading!

[purplepetrichor]

As someone who is only not homeless because friends have taken my family in, this was a hard read. The hopelessness and desperation comes out strong in this.

[thephantomq]

<3 <3 <3

I'm glad you had somewhere to go - I did, too, it turns out. But back in January I didn't see that, yet.

Thank you for commenting!

[halfshellvenus]

I'm so sorry. And I remember how close Bob and his grandfather were at one time.

Psychosis from weed isn't common, which makes it all the unexpected when it happens. I hope you're able to stay away from it. Do you ever have situations where your alters do things that you wouldn't consciously choose to do yourself?

[thephantomq]

Yeah, Bob and Chris had a real close relationship, considering. So this really sucked in so many ways.

Thankfully we're all on the same page regarding weed. We tossed what we had left and haven't gotten more since. We don't want to go through that again.

[reidharriscooper]

I appreciate the sentiment at the end of hope within dread.

[thephantomq]

Same. Nothing is ever entirely hopeless but damn was it hard to maintain that hope.

[ofearthandstars]

This is such a hard, hard situation to be in, for everyone. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you and your kid are housed and in a good space now.

[thephantomq]

I'm glad we're in a better space, too. Things were rough there, for a minute.

[krispykritter]

This must have been incredibly scary for you. I do hope that this situation was in the past and things have improved. Take care of you.

[thephantomq]

It most definitely was and is very much in the (recent) past, thankfully. We're safely housed now and stuff but it was very much touch and go for a while.

[krispykritter]

I'm very happy that you are housed and may it continue!

[n3m3sis43]

I'm still so sad this happened to you. :( But I think Philly is gonna be good for you, and having them out of your life (if this is how they were gonna be) is too. So much love to you <3

[thephantomq]

Philly has definitely been good, so far, even if I haven't explored the city much yet since being here (it was too hot for me lmao). But yeah, having them out of my life feels better. Less I have to worry about in the background, really. <3

Love you, too <3

[theycallmepace]

This is a gut punch. The 2nd person somehow twists the knife even further. Hope all is well.

[thephantomq]

❤️ thank you. I love second person for that reason. Things are better now, at least. It was rough there for a minute but I made it through.

[kandigurl]

Oof. A gut punch. It’s so hard to be human and need other humans to survive.

[thephantomq]

It's so hard to need other humans, indeed. Thanks for commenting ❤️

[lapis_lazuli615]

I almost cannot tell if this is a physical home the person is getting kicked out of, or if it's an alter that the other alters are kicking out.... and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Well written.

[thephantomq]

Damn, I love the idea of it being alters kicking another alter out. Unfortunately this was very real, and happened back in January. Thankfully we're safely housed, now.

Thank you ❤️